How To Keep Your Kids Engaged On Seder Night

On the night of the Seder, we have a special obligation to spark our children’s curiosity and actively retell the story of Pesach. This responsibility applies to every child, including those with special needs. It is especially important to find ways to engage each child so they can feel included and connected to the Seder experience. Here are amazing ideas to help involve the children to be zoned in on Seder night.

Tip 1: Prep Your Children

Taking a proactive approach can make a significant difference. It is helpful to set clear and fair expectations with your children ahead of time. In some families, only the father shares divrei Torah during Maggid, while the children are encouraged to ask questions and build on his ideas. In others, each child may be given an opportunity to share a favorite thought at designated points throughout the Seder. Consider what approach will work best for your family, and discuss the plan in advance so everyone knows what to expect and can maybe even share a thought they have!

Tip 2: Act Out

In some families, the Seder leader or another adult steps out and returns in a costume, acting as Pharaoh, Moshe, or a Jew from Yetziat Mitzrayim, and animatedly shares a “firsthand” account with the captivated children before slipping out again for another quick change. When older children are present, it’s helpful to prepare them in advance by explaining that the performance is meant for the younger audience, so they don’t downplay it—and ideally, they can even join in and help bring the story to life!

Tip 3: Bring Props

Using picture books, puppets, or props—like toy frogs or water that “turns red”—can bring the story to life in a tangible way, helping children stay engaged while reinforcing the meaning of the story. These hands-on elements make the experience more interactive and memorable for children of all ages. Print them a cute menu with images, so they can follow along.

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Tip 4: Provide Incentives

Chazal suggest giving nuts as an incentive for children to ask questions, though nowadays small treats like chocolate chips or candies may be more effective in motivating participation and excitement. Another engaging idea is to create “Seder dollars” before Pesach and distribute them throughout the Seder as rewards for involvement, which can later be redeemed for prizes on Chol HaMoed.

Tip 5: Involve Kids In Seder Prep

Involve children in preparing for the Seder by having them help set the table and prepare the Seder plate, while explaining the meaning behind each item and walking them through the order of the night. If you’ll be attending the Seder away from home, let them choose their own outfit, emphasizing that it should be their nicest and most beautiful, as this is a special and holy night when we celebrate our freedom and feel Hashem’s presence.

Tip 6: Provide A Quiet Place

For a child with special needs, the Seder can sometimes feel overwhelming due to the noise, activity, and large group setting. It’s important to keep a close eye on how they’re doing and watch for signs of overstimulation. If they seem overwhelmed, take them to a quiet room for a break, where they can reset and play calmly with a few toys. This can help them recharge and better enjoy and participate in the rest of the night.